Theatre Review ; Confusions

Chris Eldon Lee reviews ‘Confusions’, which is at The New Vic in Newcastle Under Lyme until Saturday 24 October

What a difference four decades make. ‘Confusions’ was written by Alan Ayckbourn in 1974 expressly to allow his Scarborough company to extend their summer season into the autumn for the first time. It ended up in the West End and the five playlets that constitute the whole have been in the amateur repertoire even since.

Now its revival is coupled on tour with his newest play ‘Hero’s Welcome’…and the difference is enormous. In 40 years, his writing has matured and darkened so very much that, seen side by side with his current work, ‘Confusions’ feels like child’s play. The absolute cleverness and never-ending invention shines through – but the ideas are less complex and the comedy cuddlier.

The cast, of course, features the same actors as ‘Hero’s Welcome’ and much of the fun is seeing them in so many diverse roles. The five playlets are only loosely connected – but the order in which they are performed is sacrosanct.

So in ‘Mother Figure’ we see Elizabeth Boag as fraught Lucy, trying to get her kids to bed whilst ignoring every door and telephone bell in the house. The bizzy body neighbours come round, concerned. Having not spoken to an adult in days, Lucy goes into automaton mum mode and starts to treat them like kiddies, to monstrously funny effect. “You won’t grow big and strong if you don’t drink your milk” and “Don’t quarrel”. It’s all very reminiscent of Joyce Grenfell’s nursery sketches; remember “George…don’t do that” and the neighbours naturally start acting like children. Lucy is a classic Ayckbourn character; exaggerated just enough to make her funny. It’s a delicious part that launched Pauline Collins’ career.

The reason why Lucy is alone is because her husband Harry is away on business… but in ‘Drinking Companions’ we discover he’s up to no good, desperately trying to pick up two perfume sales girls in a lonely hotel. Richard Stacy is suitably slimy. He plays Harry like a creepy lower league footballer … though actually the character travels for a man-made fibre company based in Luton (which is probably worse). Ayckbourn has given him some of the cheesiest chat up lines imaginable.…though since Operation Yew Tree, his obnoxious persistence has become increasingly repellent. It’s wry writing…highly resonant of the unreconstructed mores of the 70s.

Stephen Billington’s drinks waiter reappears in ‘Between Mouthfulls’, which concerns two couples having dinner in the same restaurant. The snag is one wife is just back from a horizontal liaison in Rome with the other’s husband. Here Ayckbourn employs another ingenious device. We, the audience, only hear what the waiter hears…and the irony is we already know from the ordering scene that he just doesn’t listen. So we have to piece it all together from snatches of conversation. Eventually the wronged woman storms off … only to reappear as the VIP in the next storm scene.

It’s the day of Gordon Gosforth’s garden fete and as the guest of honour arrives, the heavens open. So far ‘Confusions’ has been a gentle giggler, but now we witness Ayckbourn at his comic best. Emma Manton plays the tea girl Polly who picks just the wrong moment to tell ever-organised Gordon (played by the natural comedian Russell Dixon) that he’s got her pregnant. It’s a bad moment because he’s just got the hyperactive public address system working, so everyone hears the news. The whole scene descends into complete chaos of the highest theatrical order.

But the evening comes to calm, considered close as five lonely people perform a roundelay on five park benches; constantly moving on, as they bore each other to death. Each character bears a name beginning with the letter A, B, C, D or E…as if to restore order.

All in all it’s an evening of small delights…wonderfully performed. It doesn’t really hang together as a play (and it didn’t in 1974, either) but as a box of chocolates, it’s very appetising. It’s worth seeing just for the nostalgia of 70s wine lists and cruddy test card music. And counting the wigs is another enjoyable divertissement.

Confusions and Hero’s Welcome in a repertoire together at the New Vic in Newcastle Under Lyme until Saturday 24th October.

Visit www.newvictheatre.org.uk for bookings & more information about New Vic Theatre

Photo : Tony Bartholomew